I want to return to the present day and my night with Amanda and Dillon, but before I do I’ve been encouraged by the lovely Jenna at JennasAttic to share a reply to a question she asked. Jenna wanted to know (and others have asked too) how the game made me feel, who won the game and how did days like that affect my marriage. I did my best to answer and its included below.
How did I feel during all of it? Fun, excitement, creative, confident. There’s a certain calm that’s achieved when you aren’t looking for a long-term mate and you’re just enjoying the company of a woman. Because I had full immunity and consent from my wife, there was no stress of getting caught etc. Just enjoyment. We had been having sex on a scale like this for a while at the time this weekend occurred. After meeting so many people, you get a feel from them early on if they are into casual sex or the type of person who looks for a long term relationship.
It’s almost like a pre-consent vibe. I don’t even want to proposition a woman if I have a feeling it’s going to make her uncomfortable. Consent and comfort are of utmost importance in this lifestyle.
So I felt relaxed and fun and excitement. Trying to bed a stranger has great adventure and I love the rush of the game. I have instincts of whether a woman would be up for sex or not, but sometimes I know before even she does. So there’s still the courting and the banter, all of which thrills me just as much as the sex.
The encounters with the usual cast of swingers and playmates is still fun too. And there’s a sense of courtship with them too, though truthfully those relationships are more about the straight physical. But they can propose adventures too. I’ve never bedded Melody’s sub alone before. I usually don’t let the husband of couples suck me either. But I did it because I knew it would get a rise out of Melody later.
Our game was very much Spy vs Spy (that old Mad cartoon) in a way. There was no winner per say. It was about the hunt and the story. Everyone I had an experience with, I did so primarily to impress/please my wife. And she did the same for me. Yes, I got physical pleasure from it and yes I sincerely enjoy the company of these women, but Melody was always on the forefront of my mind.
Our marriage had moved beyond emotional and physical means. We started getting off on more mental and story driven stimulus.
So the feeling I felt most overall was pleasure and satisfaction. Because Melody was going to love what I had done just as I was going to love hearing about her day too.
It not only made our marriage stronger, but it was part of what made “us” us. We had threesomes while dating. 2 weeks after she took my virginity, we fucked another couple. She trained me and taught me so much about sensuality and sexuality, but we learned together too. There were years of our marriage where we didn’t mess around at all with others though. We tried everything. Including vanilla sex and monogamy.
Being with others ultimately reinforced that we were the perfect mate for each other. I found no lovers that pleased me more than her and she found no lovers who pleased her or understood her like I did. Fucking others was the foreplay to fucking each other. The sex we would have after sharing our tales with each other? Goddamn magical. Unlike anything else.
We never even saw ourselves as having an “open” marriage either. It was us, our circle. The world was just our playground.
Are we married anymore? No. But I can honestly say it had nothing to do with our sexual proclivities. We just evolved differently. But I’ll go into that another time. I’ve rambled long enough.